.. a happy day :)

From time immemorial, I've only prayed or taken the God’s name when things get difficult. Difficult has different interpretation at different ages, at 8 it was when I broke the torch, and stacked it away  in the shelf. At 12, it was when I lost yet again another gold earring. At 15, it was when board results announced and I didn't quite make the mark everybody expected I’d get. At 17 it was when I didn't get through the medical entrance (the aftershocks of which I still experience even now, once in every year my mother reminds me that I could have been doing MBBS, when the fact is that I've completed my B.tech, and that was done really well too). And now, well it defines a whole new set of things..!!

I started writing personal diary a long time back, almost into my 10^th standard. I took up all those diaries and read through it, and what I realized was that all the days I've written something were the sad days. Even then I used to overdo stuff.. the tear stains through the spread ink was very much visible. So, in short, anyone going through my personal diary (like when I end up dead/famous, and the world/nosy kids/grandkids wanted to know the thoughts in the little prodigy me) all they are gonna end up with will be a detailed version of whining me, saying how unfair my life is, how partial my parents are to my brother, how high school musical is never even close to my high school experience, and a detailed description of how my life would have been, had I been born as a princess(I used to, and still have a very vivid imagination..!!).

There was not a single happy day recorded.

But I had plenty of those days. Between my two types of hormones, crappy people, and mind numbing assignments, I have had some of the awesomest days ever. It’s just that I never wrote down anything when I am happy. I don’t need God or my diary when I am happy (that’s a blasphemous thought, but I do not mean it like that.. I do need God when I am happy, I just tend to forget that a bit). So, I am writing this post, to remind me that I had plenty of happy days, and I’m most grateful for all of those.

And, now again I’m happy, because I had a good talking session with another kindred spirit (I fell in love with the word “kindred spirit” after reading Anne Of Green Gables) , someone other than my friend actually read and commented on one of my post, and it didn't rain a single drop today(I love rain, but week-long rain leaves all the clothes damp and hard to dry).

So, that’s it. I am happy. And every single time I come across this post, I will be happy again. J

Things that make me happy:-

1. Good book

2. Good films

3. Good food

4. Travelling

5. Good talking session with my friends

6. Hot maggi and tea on a rainy evening

7. Being home alone

8. Getting control of tv remote

9. High balance on phone+ net offer+ message offer

10. New shoes

11. New clothes, and

12. Black diamond ring ;)

See, I’m a simple person J :P

..hunting lessons :P

Its depressing

The never ending hunt for grooms. Its depressing because I haven’t yet viewed a profile that screams “marry me, I am the one for you.”  I thought it will be fun, but after going through numerous profiles I realised why people go for love marriages. There is no fun people. Everyone is so serious, and over age. I’m 22 when I am writing this, and every single interest/ proposal I’ve got so far is 27-28. Looks like rest of the folks decided to find themselves brides without the aid of matrimony site.

And, what I cannot understand is my father’s need to get me hitched off this fast!

Yes, my horoscope says that I have to be married before 24, or wait after 30 (yes we believe in that stuff..!), above that, mine is a sudhajathakam, something difficult to find, and if found difficult to match (discovered dashasanthi recently.. :P), and adding to it even thinking about living off with a complete stranger, doesn't look glamorous at all. Nope, not anymore.

When I was a kid, I used to love marriages, loads of people, loads of goodies, and loads of fanfare. Cousins ragging the to be bride/groom, meaningful looks (none understood then, but now, its a different story :P) passed around, snide comments, general happiness around. And I've had cliched images built up even then in my mind about the marriage(aided by the films and serials mainly), and I couldn't wait to grow up and get married!!

But I didn't expect this sense of insecurity. Its even scary. Every parent is looking for a good homely girl to complete their son’ s life. No one wants a fun loving, slightly eccentric, highly emotional, overly sensitive, in short, a real person for their son. Not that my profile exhibits these characteristics, my profile is ideal one. Any unsuspecting parent will certainly love it, NO, I’m not being fake. I can adjust, trust me I can adjust well enough. It will like killing off existing me, and replacing an impeccable daughter-in-law.

But, I do not want that. Is it too much to ask, to continue like I am now, carefree, talkative, reacting little girl of the family. Couldn’t growing up wait a little more..??? We hear amazing stories about fantastic couples who came together through arranged marriages, all I am asking for is a fairytale, can I get one..?? L

Life’s little etiquette conundrums..

I’m pretty sure that Reader’s Digest subscribers come across this title once in every month. I borrowed the title from them.. Because I couldn’t think of any other title without any bitterness.

I take things to heart, and therefore even little things like a word or gesture is more than enough to hurt me and make me fret over for days. This is applicable only to things and people I care.

Recently, I found out that one of the teachers, who taught me at school, had not yet accepted my friend request. And yes, I did see this teacher as an important person, and was surprised at this. It must have been atleast a year since I send her the request.

Asking around, I did find the reason. I framed my request in inappropriate terms. As opposed to being a student, when she read my request(you have an option for letting a person who you are when sending a request), she got the feeling that I was in an overly friendly manner, like a familiar friend. Unfortunately I cannot remember the exact wordings I wrote..!!  What I remember is along these lines “ hello maam, how are you? Hope you are doing fine. ”  But definitely there must have been more to it, which must have offended her. Did I mention I do hope you remember me?? I have no idea. But what I do remember is that I did spent quite some time on that request, composing it. Maybe I should have send the request and ended it there..!!

Nevertheless, I was really hurt. And thinking back, there was this incident in which I came straight across her, at the school gate and she completely ignored me. I did try to make her look at me, so that I can smile and say ‘namaste teacher’, but she didn’t even acknowledge me being there. I thought then, that maybe it was because she was late, and there must have been a number of things going around her mind, but now I think it may be because of this request stuff (it’s quite funny, how you think you must have forgotten some things, but at the correct moment they come up.. this usually goes for unexplained stuff, things that was not resolved before..!).

Needless to say, right now I am little mad at her, because she is a grown up and above it a teacher. Maybe she could have messaged me directly reprimanding me, or said something to that effect on that school gate situation, but instead she decided to, I don’t know, give me the silent treatment?? Seriously??!! Had something like that happened I would have emerged wiser, and would have forgotten all about it then and there. Instead, I am sitting here, boiling over, trying to remember what exactly did I write, which offended her so much..!!

And wondering whether I should apologize for it..! But what exactly do I apologise for, and seeing that she did not indeed care enough to correct me, should I care enough for apologising..?I’ve been thinking about it for over a week now and  I reached the conclusion that I do not , maybe she isn’t meant to be in the high pedestal where I used to put her in.

..a letter to kerala state electricity board

This is the second consecutive day power went off in the morning, and didn’t come back till evening..!  This is so unfair..!!! And in this melting heat too..!

Dear KSEB,

It is with a saddened heart that I am writing this letter. I know that it is summer, and that there is shortage of water. All I am asking is if you people could predict this dire shortage of water, why didn’t you guys do something about it, like maybe finding an alternate source..?

Sun is available all the morning, and heat is on a record rate.  Couldn’t the engineers’ at least try to provide solar energy to some specific region..? Say, for example Government buildings in the capital..? Or, we have plenty of coastal areas, even though it is hard to harness tidal energy, why not try a hand in wind energy..? I heard that in Denmark they have windmills in the sea, literally in the sea, on cement columns and they use wind power to provide for 1/4^th of the country’s power needs. Why not try it out over here..? I’ve read about various ministers and their love for traveling abroad, while you are at it, why don’t you bring back something useful that can be implemented over here..???

And, since the electricity board is so strict about extra consumption of the ordinary people, I’d like to put forward yet another strategy to save energy. Ban political meetings during summer. God only knows how much electricity they use up with all the mike set, loudspeakers, lights and everything. Nothing comes out of it, no visible result, other than most us learning new swear words.

And, dear Government I know that nothing beats experience, but do put in some engineers or innovative minds in the governance team, so that when you guys are so busy eating up the existing resources, and having fun at expense of our tax money, there will be some people to point out to you new fields to exploit, once you are done with exhausting the existing resources. And who knows, us people may get lucky, if some poor soul do come up with plans to make Kerala emerge.

Thanking you,

Yours faithfully,

Soon to be tax paying citizen.

..i..me..myself

I am the youngest in a typical nuclear family, papa, amma, brother and me. Being the youngest, I was most pampered and was prone to throw tantrums till I got bored with the whole thing altogether.

Growing up with a brother is something my best friends have always wanted (most of them have elder sisters). To me, well it was survival. I used to be the girl who tells on her brother. I can still remember the immense satisfaction i used to get,when i catch my bro doing something he shouldn't be doing, telling amma,and seeing the result! (but then, i always had to pay for those, brothers always have much more strength! Always!!). So i dropped that practice too. but then, I had a truckload of brothers, one of my own and others being cousins. I remember my summer holidays at my ammoomma's (grandma's) household. I'll be the only girl, and I'd have 9 brothers to play with. so in my childhood i grew up playing cricket (which are again of 3 types), football, badminton and other games belonging to that category. And there used to be a special game, with me against them. maybe it can be named now as teasing the sister.Back then, I used to cry at everything, low marks (even now), cut, scrapes, when someone says something I don't like, everything!  But now, I'd like to believe that I've changed, a bit. my brothers paid a huge role in this development.They'd sit around me and start teasing me about one thing or the other, one would start and the baton gets passed and anyone with nothing else to do can join in. Initially, I cried at everything, but later on I learned to laugh with them and cry less.I'd be always thankful for those summers, because I have no idea as to how else I'd be anywhere today.

I've always been papa's favorite, to such an extend that if anybody need anything to be done by him,
they'd ask me to tell him, even today. I have special sensors which can tune his mood accurately. He's single-handedly responsible for spoiling me thoroughly.

Amma is a teacher. So, she is as expected, strict, responsible and a no nonsense person. But beneath all that she's a kindred spirit.

I grew up with this lot, and you can blame(or in some rare cases, praise; or remain unbiased) them for what i am today. but frankly, I don't think I can get any better lot to be with. Usually, I don't get to stay with other people, but when I did, I hated it outright, and couldn't wait to get back home!

Home is a lovely place to be, provided you don't stay for more than two weeks a stretch, it gets on to the nerves ;)
Then again, there won't be any other place in the world you'll be happy to be alone, because, at the end of the day, you'll know that everyone will be  back, no matter how late.

..year end (2012)

finally last month of the year 2012 is here. December. if the world does end as the Mayans predicted it, that would leave just a month more to live up rest of my life. that's a sad thought on surface, but i then, i can't think up a better way to die ;)

looking back, this has been one of those milestone years..

• year started with a more enlightened me
• got through two university exams without any scrapes
• got myself into the 'moral- support' aka cheer leading team for college sports
• which leads to the next one,the department won throwball trophy after 4 long years
• had fun during arts, and this would be final one in college
• saw my classmates, and my best friend included, go broke in effort of organising our team for arts
• had a horrible time hunting for sponsors, for the same..
• changed my phone number, again!
• and started a blog (last time in interview, when they say, so your interests include writing huh, like blog? i had replied, um its more like diary full of stuff. now, i'll be like, yea, i blog ;) they don't count follower's do they? do i write, yes i do. does anybody else read it? mm.. i don't think so.. )

• and to finish it off, landed in a job. Hah!!!

 not a bad year.

and there is one more month to it. a lot of things can happen in 31 days. i can win a lottery, get selected for movie(i am not photogenic and can't act, but still, i may land myself in an award winning role), get a prize for something(though i haven't done anything worth a prize, yet), write a book(? in 31 days? start a book would be more appropriate) or get fat (at this level, i think this is the most likely thing to happen..!!!)

well, one can only wait for tomorrow, to find out what it holds for one.but a small hope that it will be better than today wont hurt anyone ;).